Ranting- an old post

When did the partial truth become acceptable to God's people? I am confused and saddened by my brothers and sisters in Christ that support movies about God's word and yet twist and turn it or leave it out all together. They have even gone to adding things that are not true and go against everything that God is. What bothers me most is the churches that encourage you to go see such things. They are to be the leaders and are to know His word inside and out. Rant over.

Longing for loved ones

Have you ever woke up hearing a song in your head? Maybe the alarm goes off with a tune and you reach over and hit the snooze button and fall back to sleep, but this time you are singing the song that was from your alarm. Maybe I am the only one that does such a thing. These days I use my cell phone as an alarm and I can't seem to figure out how to get it to play music. It just has all these annoying bells and dongs that make you feel like you're waking up in a church or a subway in some foreign land. I guess what I am getting to is that yesterday I woke up hearing a song in my head. One that brought back a memory of my grandma. I could hear her husky voice with a strong vibrato singing to the Lord as she was getting breakfast ready on the farm. I would sleep in the living room and each morning this would be my wake up call. Her voice was deep and calming. She had a love for God that shone through everything she did and said. That voice that I would hear first thing in the morning will stick with me until it's my turn to go home. Anyway, I got up out of bed and hit the shower and still that song and her voice stuck with me. I miss her and my mom so much these days as I see my children growing up. I want to ask them questions about when they were my age and how they handled certain situations. It hurts to not have that connection to them. One would think that after my mom being gone for 16 years and grandma for over a year things would get better, but they have almost gotten worse. What helps me get through it are those last moments as both of them left this earth. My mom was a daddy's girl and he had died 13 years before her. I know she missed him terribly although she never said anything to me. As the ambulance came to take my mom away the night she died I remember her asking where dad was. We told her that he was right here and put my dad's hand in hers, but she kept asking. That is when I knew that she wasn't asking us about my dad, but someone on the other side where her dad was. This has always given me peace that we will never die alone. Someone is on the other side waiting to take our hand. Grandma past away a little over a year ago. I had seen her a few months before at Christmas time and she didn't recognize me or my children. This was really hard for me to take because I needed her at the times I missed mom most. I knew it wouldn't be long before she too would be gone. I was right in that thinking. A few months later my dad was in the hospital recovering from quad-bypass surgery and I got the call to come and say goodbye to my grandma because she was failing fast. I wanted to go really bad, but every time that I left my dad I would come back to them telling me something had happened while I was gone. I don't know where my dad will spend eternity and so I don't have that peace that I will someday see him again. Grandma had heaven written all over her and I said my goodbyes the last time that I saw her. Still when that call came to me at the hospital that she had left this earth I felt such a loss. In that tiny room I had nowhere to go to grieve and be alone. I turned my back from the door and looked out the window so that nobody would see me crying. There was a park across the street, and in the trees I could see my grandfathers face. He was so special to me that I named my first son after him. It had been years since I had seen his face even in my dreams. I was 12 when he passed away, but that is another story. I could see him and he began to smile. He always had this handsome smile that I loved so much. It was so good to see that smile again. I was in pain and longed for family to comfort me. There he was in the trees smiling and reaching out his hand and I suddenly knew why he was smiling. I knew that she was there taking his hand and joining him for eternity. I didn't get to see her, but I knew that she was where she longed to be, and that when it is my time to go my family will be there waiting for me. I have peace about all that and nobody can take that away from me. Until then I can continue to hear her voice in the hymns and see my mom in my dreams and know that Grandpa is waiting with a smile. A year later my dad is still plugging along and I'm still not sure of his salvation.

I just finished reading a book called "Heaven is for Real" by Todd Burpo and listening to the author of "90 minutes in Heaven" Don Piper. I am a huge skeptic when it comes to things like this because nobody knows what Heaven is like. I now believe that God gives us what we need when we need it and that we are to share our experiences with one another to encourage each other. I have seen and heard enough to know that this life is not the end, but just a starting point.